( These lessons are drawn from book “33 Strategies of War”)
Our successes and failures in life can be traced to how well or how badly we deal with the inevitable conflicts that confront us in society. The fundamental ideals to prepare oneself with difficult situations are, Â look at things as they are, not as your emotions color them. The only remedy is to be aware that the pull of emotion is inevitable, to notice it when it is happening, and to compensate for it. When you have success, be extra wary. When you are angry, take no action. When you are fearful, know you are going to exaggerate the dangers you face. Judge people by their actions. Depend on your own arms. But true strategy is psychological-a matter of intelligence, not material force.
The armies with the highest morale are armies that have been tested in battle. Soldiers who have fought alongside one another through many campaigns forge a kind of group myth based on their past victories.  One can put them to as many campaigns as necessary. The twenty years  war against terrorism has made our soldiers fearless.
For a successful strategist most important thing is exit strategy. One must  know how to end things. End justifies the means. You are judged in this world by how well you bring things to an end.  The art of ending things well is knowing when to stop, never going so far that you exhaust yourself or create bitter enemies that embroil you in conflict in the future. It also entails ending on the right note, with energy and flair. It is not a question of simply winning the war but the way you win it, the way your victory sets you up for the next round. The height of strategic wisdom is to avoid all conflicts and entanglements from which there are no realistic exits. The worst way to end anything–a war, a conflict, a relationship–is slowly and painfully.
Spiritualize your warfare. To become a true strategist, you must become aware of the weakness and illness that can take hold of the mind. You must declare war on yourself to make yourself move forward.
Learn to identify your enemies, and then inwardly declare war. Your enemies, like the opposite poles of a magnet, can fill you with purpose and direction. The more clearly you define who you do not want to be, the clearer your own sense of identity. Understand people, tend to be vague and slippery because it is safer than outwardly committing to something. If you are the boss, they will mimic your ideas. Their agreement is often to please you. Get them emotional; people are usually more sincere when they argue. If you pick an argument with someone and he keeps on mimicking your ideas, you may be dealing with a chameleon, a particularly dangerous type. A tough opponent will bring out the best in you.
Superior strategists are highly sensitive to dangers and opportunities. Great strategists do not act according to preconceived ideas; they respond to the moment, like children. Amidst the turmoil of events, do not lose  your presence of mind.  Make your mind tougher by exposing it to adversity. Learn to detach yourself, it will provide you clarity to see the whole battlefield with clarity. What gives you that distance is preparation, mastering the details beforehand. Let people think your Buddha-like detachment comes from some mysterious source. The less they understand you, the better. What makes your mind stronger, and more able to control your emotions, is internal discipline and toughness. No one can teach you this skill. It can only come through practice, experience, and even a little suffering. To toughen your mind: Expose yourself to conflict. It is better to confront your fears than to ignore them or tamp them down.
 The problem in leading any group is that people inevitably have their own agendas. If you are too authoritarian, they will resent you and rebel in silent ways. If you are too easygoing, they will revert to their natural selfishness and you will lose control. You have to create a chain of command in which people do not feel constrained by your influence yet follow your lead. Create a sense of participation, but do not fall into group thinking. A proper chain of command, and the control it brings you, is not an accident; it is your creation, a work of art that requires constant attention and care. Do whatever you can to pressure unity of command. At the same time, hide your tracks. Work behind the scenes; make the group feel involved in your decisions. A critical step in creating an efficient chain of command is assembling a skilled team that shares your goals and values.
The Controlled-Chaos Strategy is yet another element for consideration.  Speed and adaptability are critical elements in any conflict, and come from flexible organization. Decentralize your work force, segment into teams, and let go a little to gain mobility.   People cannot stay motivated if their material needs go unmet.  Mix harshness and kindness.  You must know your limits and pick your battles carefully. There is no value in fighting without economy, but it is always wise to make your opponent waste as many resources as possible.
Utilizes speed to gain untold power in a world of indecisive and cautious reactions. The strategy works best with a setup or lull, catching the enemy off guard. Organization and strategic planning are crucial to separate oneself from the pack and harness devastating force. The strategy involves scanning the enemy for weaknesses and disrupting their communication lines. The divide-and-conquer strategy is effective in governing any group. The enemy should be presented with dilemmas, not problems, to present them with a dilemma. The goal is to make every option bad, forcing the enemy to fight before they are ready or retreat. The strategy aims to create maximum disorder, making the enemy unable to read your intentions. The strategy is used in daily life battles, letting people commit themselves to a position they can turn into a dead end. The strategy involves making a contrast between oneself and inconsistent or moderate opponents. The strategy involves creating a reputation for being tough and uncompromising, covering up weaknesses and gaining footholds. Acting strong and making firm demands earns respect, which in turn gives leverage
